Marriage Is Not a Fairy Tale

May 6, 2019

 

I don't usually talk about marriage or parenting, it just hasn't really been my focus for serving others. However, lately, I really feel God calling me to share just a little here and there. The more I pray about it, the more I realize how much I've learned about myself through the transition of becoming a couple.

 

So, why wouldn't I share that more?

 

Think about it. You take 2 people, raised in different homes, with different family dynamics, beliefs, & experiences, and they're expected to live happily ever after, for the rest of their lives. 

 

It's just not gonna happen!!!

 

Marriage takes work! It takes God being the center, talking & listening to each other, counseling, being able to own your part, did I mention counseling???

 

This picture is a happy day for two people who had no idea what they were doing and for a season, it went straight down hill. There was screaming, yelling, crying, silence,.....

 

However, there were signs of hope since we had recently found God and invited Him into our messy relationship.

 

I can remember asking God to change something about my husband and after sharing, for quite some time, the things He needed to change, I heard God, loud and clear, say, "He's not the problem." Wow! I stopped in my tracks and from that point on, I really started asking God to show me where I needed to do some work. Don't get me wrong, I still prayed for my husband, but I prayed for change in myself even more.

 

My focus in serving is to walk beside women as they set and reach goals to discover what they're capable of, to learn about themselves, to grow personally and /or spiritually, to be proud and love themselves the way God made them.

 

I have gained so many of these abilities from the work I've done on myself in my marriage and the work my husband and I have done together. All with God's guidance of course.

 

Things we've learned and practiced towards a happier, healthier marriage:

1) Don't be so quick to envy other peoples marriage. We all have our marriage problems.

2) Don't play the blame game. Take ownership for your part in your marriage.

3) Pray for your spouse but pray for yourself too.

4) Talk and listen to each other.

5) A great book for all couples is, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Get it, read it, learn and respond to each others love language.

 

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. And in no way am I suggesting anyone should stay in a relationship that involves abuse, so please don't think any of what I have said applies to that. I also realize that, sometimes, parting ways is the only solution left. I'm simply saying, the average marriage takes a lot of work and sometimes we're quick to call it quits. But, if we do the work on ourselves and in our marriage, we may just be surprised to find what's waiting on the other side.

 

I'd love to hear your story so please feel free to email me:)

Until next time, have a fabulous week & take care of you!

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