Overcoming Guilt When You Feel Like A Crappy Mom
Kids not listening?
Feeling stressed and overwhelmed
Don’t feel like getting out of bed?
Let's be honest, motherhood isn't always a barrel of fun & laughter. You’ve most likely fallen into mom guilt territory at some point. It’s kind of inevitable.
Mom guilt takes on a variety of emotions and feelings. I remember feeling powerless, hopeless, misunderstood, lonely, like I was failing my family.
You may feel guilty for…
Not spending enough time
Going out with friends
Being short tempered
Not being able to give them what their friends have
Giving them too much screen time
You feel like you’re failing them
Fill in the _______________
Being a mom adds a lot of extra work to your plate. While you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, (On most days) the chaos and stress leave you constantly questioning your ability.
Guess what??? YOU’RE NOT ALONE!
I know this because I’ve been there too.
What is mom guilt anyway?.....
“Mom Guilt is the feeling of guilt, doubt, anxiousness or uncertainty experienced by mothers when they worry they’re failing or falling short of expectations in some way”
Keep in mind... mom guilt doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s simply you loving your kids THAT much. If you can change your mindset, you can release the negative thoughts & phrases that play over and over in your brain and find peace, joy, & calmness instead.
Sometimes our guilt comes from what we see on social media.
If you struggle with comparisons & social media
5 Action Steps to help you de-stress in the moment:
Stop and breathe
Remind yourself that your feelings are normal. We’re all in this together
Think about what’s causing your feelings in this moment. Knowing this trigger can help you be more aware in the future and keep your feelings from escalating
Pray, pray, pray
Remember, you’re doing the best you can
Continuous intentional steps to overcoming mom guilt…
Quit comparing yourself to other moms. God specifically picked you to be your kids mom and He will carry you through. You absolutely can do it. Start with your mindset.
Take time for you. And don’t feel bad about it! Pouring into yourself gives you the energy and joy to pour into your family. It’s also important for your kids to see you taking care of yourself.
Pray always and always pray. Prayer gives us peace, guidance, and discernment
Replace your negative self-talk with positive. If giving your kids extra screen time allows you to take a much needed break, then remind yourself it’s giving you a minute to breathe. Do not beat yourself up
Make time for intentional family fun. This not only helps you but it’s great bonding time that will last forever
Enjoy the moments, (This is hard sometimes, I know) they don’t last forever.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You do a lot, you are stressed, and you are doing the best you can.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself and share your feelings with other moms. You may be surprised by how much they can relate.
Filter your social media: 1) Again, no comparing. If someone is leaving you feel bad, unfollow them 2) Advice is great but social media can be noisy and confusing. Sometimes you’re better just trusting your gut.
Stay at home mom/Working mom…enjoy it. I’ve been both and there is no right or wrong.
Set boundaries as needed. While it’s important for you to have time for you, it’s also important for your kids to have time with you. Be careful of too many outside things getting in the way of that.
Download this list, compiled from my own family, of things that worked for our dynamics...
Affirmations for those mom guilt moments...
1. I love myself.
2. I am a good mom.
3. I care so much because I love my kids.
4. I am making the best decisions for my family.
5. I will show my kids grace and forgiveness & they will learn to show me grace and forgiveness too
6. I forgive myself for my shortcomings
7. God has called me to be their mom and He will carry me through
8. “Bad moments don’t make bad moms.”-Lisa Terkeurst
Overcoming mom guilt and thriving as a mom is so doable!
Mom guilt does not serve you or your family well.
Ask yourself…are the things you feel guilt over worth the tears, anxiety, and energy? If you think about it, some of them may actually be good things, like time with friends, date night,…
At the end of the day, your kids love you and you know you’re doing your best so take a deep breath, relax, and celebrate the days regardless of the obstacles.
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Don't forget to take care of you my friend.
Let me know how you're doing. I'm cheering you on!